On expecting reciprocity & week 27 of 52

inspiration from the classroom & a meditation for channeling anger

The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.

—Mahatma Gandhi

Each semester, I ask my students to read a biography or autobiography of a leader they admire—ideally, a leader from a different background. This assignment culminates in a class-wide book club that starts in small groups and then circles out to the full class. Sometimes, we discuss up to 20 books, exploring parallels, differences, integrity, and biases in the personal stories.

Inevitably, a student (or two) is impassioned by what they read and wants to share the wisdom gained. This class almost always goes over.

Photo by Pete Nuij

Topics like discipline, optimism, or overcoming adversity often arise, but this semester, something new surfaced. It was a topic less distillable, but if I had to assign it a single word, it’d be passion.

The student who wowed me this semester read a book different than those most pick (many choose the auto/biographies of Barack Obama, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Steve Jobs, Phil Knight, Malala, etc…). He read McCullough’s account of The Wright Brothers, but it wasn’t the biographical story or choice that contributed to the wow factor, it was his insight.

This student was baffled that the brothers continued their quest to birth flight even after seeing so many others fail or come close and be ignored. He saw in their story a fortitude that came despite the odds and without guarantees. It didn’t matter that they were now studied, nor did it matter that they had succeeded or gotten credit. What mattered was how much they believed in their mission.

Those seeking to cure cancer or find solutions to age-old societal problems do so knowing that many have come before and they may receive little to no attribution. Many peaceful or activist leaders were despised while alive and had no reason to believe they’d be studied today. Still, they dedicated their lives to their cause.

Workers on the front line in hospitals and many educators do this, not knowing who will survive or listen. Writers and artists do this not knowing whether they’ll finish a project, let alone find an audience. We know this, but how often do we contemplate the sacrifice that true passion demands?

Marcus Aurelius referred to the success or thank-yous of it all as “the third thing,” which amounts to extrinsic motivation. The first things are the aim and action itself. The doing. The third thing is the desire for prizes or praise. We want these sometimes, yes, but if we release the need for them, we find meaning that sustains us as much, if not more. Again, this is not new, but it is easily forgotten.

To see a student come to this realization was a beautiful experience. And I think this is an important message to revisit right now.

Writing prompt: Write a story in which one person gets everything they want and another doesn’t, but their passions are matched.

AYTL: Examine where you want praise, likes, hearts, more of something. Examine it honestly and let it go.

A few additional offerings this week:

*I’m hosting a write-in on the solstice this December. If you’d like to join, register here. No fee. It’s on Zoom. The theme is light and dark.

**Here is a meditation on channeling anger.